I might disappear for awhile....

This is long so if you don't want to read it, that's ok.
Its about me, which i dont often write about.

2 years ago my husband starting losing hours at work because of the Canadian dollar being so much higher than the US dollar
He worked in an American company here in Canada so made it harder on them.
Well because we couldn't always pay the mortgage fully we got a loan to help, which we still have to make payments on
Then he got laid off with no certain date of when he would be back.
Now we had to rely on Unemployment, which was very difficult.
A couple weeks before Christmas that year, he was laid off completely.
He did get a severance, but we owed his mother a lot because she was making our mortgage payments and our bills got way behind.
By the time the end of January came, we had no income but he found a job.
He was making $30 an hour at his old job, but this one was only going to be paying $17, but its a job right?
He got fired from there shortly after because he had a seizure. And yes they were told up front he is epileptic.
So now we were screwed.
We tried unemployment but his time had ran out.
We had to resort to welfare.
Well that barely fed us, my mother in law was still paying much of our mortgage then we lost our gas because we were too far behind.
Well we had to take our money and buy an electric water heater so we could have hot water
Months went by and he was still having a hard time finding a job, hes a welder and they have been hit hard by the economy.
Finally at the start of August he found a job, but it was only for $15 an hour, but once again its at least a job.
Big problem though is its out of town and he cant drive (even if we could afford a car) because hes epileptic, it costs him $50 a week to get to work..sometimes more
Winter came and we still had no gas and no way to pay it, so we bought an electric heater.
Well now our electric bills have gone thru the roof.
We had it turned off for one day in Feb, but his income tax refund covered that the day after.
Our bills are still outrageous and now we have to find $1800 in 2 or so weeks or we are going to be without for who knows how long
And to top it off, my Internet/phone/cable company is threatening that now as well and they want $600
I am lost and severely depressed and don't know what to do anymore
My mother in law is in debt because of helping us and my parents are bad off themselves
I feel like a huge failure to my kids, which hurts the most
I am trying to fight back tears that I have been holding in for what feels like an eternity
I cant even find a job and if I did, it wouldn't help much, I have no skills, havent even had a job since 2000
Not to mention the hours I can work are terrible because there is no one to look after my kids while I work, except evenings and weekend when hubby can
And at this point, a minimum wage job aint gona prevent our services being turned off, though I will keep trying anyways
I really thought selling scraps would help us out, but so far it hasnt. I don't sell very well
Even selling a year membership for $10...I only have 1 person

So, please if you pray, keep me in your prayers, I don't know what else to do
And if you don't see me for awhile, then I probably lost my Internet and/or electricity and could be a long time before I get it all back

Thanks for listening
Hugs
Vella